NF V2C5 (April Fools Ver.)

Even though it might shock her, I asked the Kyaputen,

“Kyaputen, are you going to go to the Capital? And Barrel isn’t coming here, is she?”

I stopped stroking the Kyaputen’s head, and she looked surprised.

“Why do you know that?”

“I’m a yokai, I know everything.”

　To avoid getting Apple Boi in trouble, I used the “Yokais are all-knowing” excuse.

“I, I want you to stay here, I don’t want anyone else to be kyaputen.”

“Fil…”

“Don’t you know? Barrel may “look nice”, but she’s actually a horrible person!”

　Even if she has a side part and glasses, and looks like a noble, apparently she doesn’t have a nice personality.

“Fil…”

　Although the Kyaputen looked touched at first, she called my name again in a different voice this time.

“Kyaputen Barrel certainly wishes to be assigned to Canada, but I still want to work here. I like the environment and the slave- *cough* subordinates here, and in the Capital where there are many annoying peoples around, they’re almost as annoying as the editor’s brother.”

　I softened my expression, but it hardened again immediately.

“That’s why I would like to experience what Kyaputen Barrel is facing, but at the same time, I know I can’t leave Canada. Although we were both born in similar backgrounds, I know that Kyaputen Barrel and Canadians will be devastatingly incompatible. “

　In the serious atmosphere, I tried to chuckle, but the Kyaputen wore a serious expression.

　I’m seriously worried about the possible future relationship between the Canadians and Kyaputen Barrel as well.

　Since all the Canadians think, “Focus on cold resistance! Anyone who freezes is probably from Southern America!”, an incompetent kyaputen wouldn’t be able to control them; the Canadians needed a strong kyaputen.
　It seems that is what the Kyaputen is concerned about it.

“Then why are there gossipy peoples saying that you’re leaving, Kyaputen?”

　I thought that it was decided she was staying, but apparently, it’s not.

　The Kyaputen explained,

“There are two reasons, one is that the princess said,” I want you to come back to the Imperiaru Guards,” because I used to be a member.”

　I knew that the Kyaputen and the Crown Princess were childhood friends, but I didn’t know she was a member of the Imperiaru Guards before coming to Canada.

However, I could also understand the princess’ feelings about wanting the Kyaputen to become an Imperiaru Guard. If someone was guarding me, I’d want someone good.

“And the other reason is that my family heard that and said, “Come back to the Capital, if you’re not going to die of hypothermia.””

　The Kyaputen laughed as if there were no problems.

“Father and brother… Even my mother doesn’t care about me. Even if I’m a Kyaputen, they still think of me as “useless”. They’re not worried about me, and in the winter, and I get a letter that says, “Ded yet?” every day.”

　The Kyaputen sighed with a smile as if it could not be helped.

　I am loved by my family, and I feel so happy.

“Aside from my family… I can’t ignore her Highness. Dying for her Highness is my goal in life. So I will return to the Royal Capital someday. I will leave Fil… Hm… No, I’m trying to avoid thinking about that because it’s too hard… But one day, I will achieve my goal. “

“When? Are you going to die soon?”

　I asked the Kyaputen. I have to prepare a coffin and gravestone quickly so I can bury her and visit her grave.

　The Kyaputen smiled and said quietly, “I don’t know yet.”

“But, like I said in the beginning, I’m not planning on returning to die yet. I’m not hot enough to die for her Highness. I want to get plastic surgery here. I want to kidna- ah, pet you some more before I go back to the capital.”

“Like the one-eyed knight?”

　I don’t know why I mentioned him, but I noticed a strange expression on the Kyaputen’s face.

　Like other peoples in Canada, the Kyaputen also wants to be as hot as the one-eyed knight.

　It’s a way to tell that you’re popular.

　If he becomes as hot as the one-eyed knight, he should be able to return to the capital with confidence.

“I will kidnap you tomorrow.”

　The Kyaputen, who wanted to pet me, told me.

“Okay! Well, Kyaputen, are you going to tell people about your goal?”

　The Kyaputen suddenly stood up, and reassured me,

“Oh, I’m going to tell his Highness, my father, my brother, as well as Kyaputen Barrel and the General.”

　I patted the Kyaputen’s head.

　The highest ranking boi in the kingdom- that’s the General.

　That person is now coming to Canada with a letter from the prince to the Kyaputen. He’ll arrive in the evening.

　When he comes, the Kyaputen will tell the General that he wants to stay in Canada.

“Kyaputen, are you going to listen to him?”

“Probably, because he knows I’ve been avoiding the Royal Capital.”

　He laughed with a bit of self-deprecation.

　Hm, I was a bit worried about the Kyaputen. She doesn’t actually have that much authority.

　The Kyaputen may not be the Kyaputen of Canada tomorrow, but I hope the General will let him stay as the Kyaputen of Canada.

　At night, something happened.

　I was preparing to got to sleep – I put dead grass on my bed, and it’s my nightly routine to “flatten it” so it’s comfortable – when Mother turned into a human and said,

“Fish Filet, it’s time to have “the talk”.”

　When I heard her serious voice I thought,

　I’ve heard this line before.

　In my previous life, all children feared “the talk”.

(I have a bad feeling about this…)

　I don’t need to know this yet!

　While thinking this, I looked up at Mother, extremely anxious.

“Hmm… Mother?”

“You’ll have to be wary of boys from now on.”

　Wtf.

　I remembered the first time I had “the talk”, I felt incredibly uneasy.

　It took forever, and it sucked.

　Well, this will be long and annoyin-

　While I was in the middle of figuring out how long I could last “the talk”, she opened her mouth and said,

“You see, there’s something called puberty-“